People?

It's been a couple days without my family and it's okay and all but I still miss them. Yeah it's weird i guess if you think that way. I've been always been with my famiy and it never really affected me i guess. Most of the time I'm alone in my room. Not because I want to be totally far away from them but really to avoid any conflicts between me and my family. For awhile it seems to me that we always bicker and what not just because most of us has short tempers. Not really our fault but it's just how we are. My family went to Big Bear with their friends and I stayed home because I had to go to a swim meet on that friday they left. Personally I don't like snowboarding. My body was sore enough from swim practice but other than that, everytime i'm with my parent's friends and them, it's like I really don't belong. Age difference can be one of the main factors of why I feel so out of place. The other reason why, I just wanted to swim my meet. I finally took it to mind that I can be lonely everyday. Even though there are so many people around me it's like there's no one who really understands. I mean they can for awhile but only for that time. Later on they can get tired of it and just drop it. Who am i to stop them? I get tired of people who are around me all the time. I need space and I'm pretty sure they do too.

Don't get me wrong I like the company of my friends and family. I wouldn't be who I am if they didn't push me intop anything that I really wanted to do. That goes for my music and dance and pretty much anything. I didn't know I was going to be kinda far with my music. Honestly I thoiught I was just going to sing and that's it. Nope now it comes to piano, guitar, and dancing. I never thought anything like this would come to mind. Anyways, I keep saying that I'm going to feel better and be different from now on. seriously I can't even know how to change and never come back. I mean really knowing me, I change for a day or two then come back to my normal self. Who always seems to be mad about life, and thinks that nothing good is going to happen.

People around me always seem to affect me either way, good or bad. I prefer good over bad but the thing is bad things happen and no matter what. No one can control that and the weak ones always conquer it. Then they become the strong. But the point is THE ONLY THING THAT CAN AFFECT YOU AS A PERSON IS YOURSELF.