update on life

So here's an update on what's happening in my life ef lol. but here's the thing, lately i've been acting really stupid having all these stupid thoughts about hurting myself again. Honestly I really want to be done with that but sometimes it's not gonna go away as much as I want it to. There are many people who's gonna feel lost and alone and no one can really help it. Everyone goes through all these tests to see how strong they are until life ends and something else happens. We're all taught to live each day as if it's your last. Learn from your mistakes and blah blah blah. Know one knows when they are gonna die. Why prepare as if you are the next day. Just live your life how you want it to be. No cautions or regrets. you'll have time to think everything that you've done through.

I was sitting in this event in UCR it was something for avid i wasn't really happy about it. Just the fact i thought I shouldn't be there. The gym was filled with so many people who thinks that they;ll really be somewhere in life. The majority of the people there had their life planned out. I had no idea what I wanted to do. To be honest I still kinda don't.

Some days later I got accepted to a university and decided to major in psychology and minor in music. I never thought that I would have a plan again. Oh well everything happens for a reason no matter how you might think it's over.

I really thought that only the lucky ones get all the joy. A friend of mine told me his way of life which I don't agree a hundred percent. He believes that happiness does not exist. I would agree with him but the fact is everyone can't be sad or mad forever. There has to be one time even for a second someone doesn't feel pain. If there's only pain and sorrow than pain wouldn't exist. One can't live without the other. At least that's what I think. Everyone tries so hard to be happy and work on their pride and ego what's it really about? For the ones who go through so many struggles in life i applaud to you. You are strong in so many ways. You know that there will be harder tests but you know that you will pass. Keep in mind that people needs a little push now and then. It feels good knowing that you passed the test and be really happy for who you are.

I'll be okay no matter how many times I won't stay

Through everything that I've been through

I won't give up and start a new